What if We Aren’t Supposed to Take Life so Seriously?

What if we’re allowed to have fun?

I was never a fan of people who said, “stop taking life so seriously.”

First of all, how dare they tell me what to do.

Second, I strongly believed that anyone who floated through life without a care in the world could only do so because someone else was following along behind them, blocking the rubble from burying them.

I’m using past tense, because I have slowly, somewhat reluctantly (and imperfectly), loosened my grip on this opinion.

Shawn Spencer - Psych (10/10 TV show, highly recommend). Photo from Reddit

I think the biggest issue with fun is I spent the majority of my life believing a person could either be successful or fun, but not both (and I slightly resented those who chose fun). Fun was for designated moments, after the work was done. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that’s a terrible way to move through life.

(Side note: I’ve had plenty of fun moments in life, I’m not painting a tragic picture here. I’m setting up the argument that we can be having more fun in life without ruining anything.)

I still believe in hard work and responsibility and making difficult choices. (If you want certain results, you can’t ignore those principles.) However, those principles don’t have to equate to serious and fun does not have to be an afterthought.

I knew I was in trouble when I noticed I was holding my breath and clenching my jaw while scrambling eggs. I actually caught myself saying it’s not that serious.

On a practical level, I knew that, of course. I knew that the weight of the world wasn’t riding on my ability to cook eggs, but I’d created an overall habit of seeing everything as critically important and I’d lost the ability to enjoy the little things.

I’d be willing to bet I’m not alone in this situation.

Looking back, it’s easy to see how we got here.

Anyone who turns down an activity to put in hard work is met with “you’re no fun.” Social media preaches 37-step health routines and 100-books-a-year reading goals. The news thrives on negativity and rage bait. Outdated systems make it difficult for certain groups to find success unless they put forth extreme effort.

Do more. Focus more. Try harder. Be better, then you can have fun and be happy.

This.is.a.TRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

After the hard work, after the success, after the “I’ve made it”… then what? It’s that scene at the end of Finding Nemo: we’ve escaped the tank, but now we’re just floating in the ocean. Life is one thing after another. If we don’t know how to seek joy now, what makes us think we’ll be able to find it later?

Finding Nemo (I haven’t watched this in forever, it deserves a re-watch)

We can choose to create joy in everyday moments.

We can blast music and dance while responsibly cooking dinner (follow/subscribe to Taylor G for more thoughts on dancing).

We can choose a gym with a high-energy coach.

We can write a Substack article by the pool at a friend’s house.

We can call a friend while folding laundry.

We can choose to study topics that we truly find interesting and then impress our friends with fun facts.

We can fit in dance clubs, birthday parties, and brunches in between our day jobs and hobbies.

We can sleep.

We don’t have to be afraid of fun or silly or joy, none of these things threaten our success. People might judge us a bit, but that’s on them and has nothing to do with us.

We’ve tried choosing stress. Maybe it’s time we see what happens when we choose fun.

Legally Blonde (I had to)