The Weekend My Life was a Christmas Movie
Who would ever fly to New York for a date??
Last December, I had the big city weekend that a Midwest girl usually only dreams about. I’m finally getting around to writing about it…
It was the kind of elevator ride that made my ears pop. I thought I was done with pressure changes after my plane landed in Newark; little did I know I’d soon be rocketing up to the 47th floor of an apartment building, about to start the most Hallmark-worthy weekend of my life. Complete with a ✨date✨, Christmas scenery in Manhattan, and landmarks I had only seen on TV.
How on Earth did I get here? Well, before we make it to New York and the stunning apartment with floor to ceiling windows showcasing the entire skyline of Manhattan, we have to make two very random decisions that no reasonable person would ever think could be related.
Decision one:
Three months prior, I took a leap of faith and went on a group travel trip to Sardinia (that’s a whole other story). On this trip, I met 11 wonderful humans. We all got along so well that we managed to keep a group chat going post-trip. *File this info away for later.*
Decision two:
I signed up for a dating app (gross). I was scrolling through said dating app, as one does on a cold Thursday night. Somehow, I stumbled upon a match with someone who did not live in my city but in NEW YORK CITY (still not entirely sure how that happened). My immediate reaction was “absolutely not.” But then, my brain said “what do I have to lose?” It’s just a conversation, after all, and I didn’t exactly have any matches in my current time zone. So, I messaged him back. (Author’s note: I will refer to this man as Mr. NYC throughout this story). Eventually, the in-app messages turned to text messages, and then to a FaceTime (happy to report he was a real person).
Up until this point, talking to Mr. NYC was all fun and games. Low stress, just conversation with someone who actually seemed like a good person. But then, the realization hit - now what? *cue end scene from Finding Nemo*
We have to meet at some point, otherwise this is just emotionally futile. My brain went into overdrive. Do I fly to him? Does he fly here? Would I want a stranger staying in my apartment?? (No). Do I want to stay in a stranger’s apartment?? (Also no). What if we meet and there is zero connection, then what? How much does a flight to New York even cost? I was stuck.
Howeverrrrrr, before I could travel too far down the rabbit hole of hypotheticals, I heard a chime that brought Wonderland to Reality. A single, serendipitous question from my travel WhatsApp group chat (see, I told you that group chat was important) that somehow solved everything:
“Who is going to be in New York for the reunion?”
The friends I made in Sardinia were planning a reunion trip in NYC in just two weeks!!
This gave me the reason I needed to risk going to New York. Now I was flying to New York to be with friends and I just happened to also be going on a date with a stranger. Granted, it was still a rather spontaneous trip and there was a lot to plan in just two weeks, but I was excited about it. This was called living in the moment or whatever those movies preach. I always say that I want to start experiencing life and pushing the fears aside. If there was ever an opportunity to act instead of just dream, this was it. I used airline points to book flights, secured a spot in my friend’s apartment, and waited for the minutes to pass.
Before I had time to overthink absolutely everything, it was time for the trip. The plans for Friday included cocktails with Mr. NYC in the early evening, followed by charcuterie and drinks with the reunion crew. I boarded the plane in my comfy outfit, with a suitcase full of blue sweaters - my signature color (this trip was all about confidence). The flight was smooth, and by noon, I was back on solid ground and hailing an Uber to my friend’s apartment. Once I sent out the alert that I was en route, she explained how to get to her unit.
“Surely this can’t be right,” I thought to myself as I read the text message.
“This has to be the 4th floor, not the 47th floor.”
Nope. She did, in fact, live on the 47th floor of her apartment building. When I walked in, my midwestern jaw hit the floor. Before me stood floor to ceiling windows, the entire Manhattan skyline etched on the horizon. I’ve traveled a fair amount in the US, and I’ve dipped my toe in international waters, but none of those experiences prepared me for how…formidable New York City looks. The shear number of buildings, coupled with their height, is almost incomprehensible. It’s maybe the one aspect of movies and tv shows that isn’t exaggerated. If anything, I’d say that they almost undersell just how impressive the city is. Anyway, I picked up my jaw from the floor and I settled into my space for the weekend.
I had a few hours before my date, so my friend and I spent some time catching up in the warm apartment before we threw on multiple layers (it’s December, remember) and headed out for a walk through Liberty State Park. Yes, that Liberty (as in: Statue of). We only caught a distant view of the statue, but it was still a lovely experience when you combine the waterfront and nature with one of the most recognizable statues in the United States. I’ll be honest, I didn’t think I really cared that much about seeing the statue, but once I saw it, I did feel like I’d completed a true American bucket list item.
After a sufficient amount of steps and a minor drop in core body temperature, it was time for me to get ready for my date. To give credit to Mr. NYC, he wanted to plan a fun date in Manhattan, maybe an art gallery. However, we were on a bit of a time crunch so he suggested grabbing a drink in Jersey City (where I was staying so I wouldn’t have to navigate the subway in the dark). (Author’s note: don’t worry, I was cryptic of my precise location). I am SO grateful this was the plan, because the bar ended up being a short walk from my friend’s apartment and that took a lot of stress off of the meet.
The cocktail bar was subtle, tucked in-between buildings. I actually walked past it and had to double back. I tried to time it to be fashionably late, I have a mild dislike for being the first one to show up for the date. Something about sitting at the table waiting for my date to arrive is far less fun than being the one who gets to make the entrance. I was unsuccessful though, and was the first to arrive. Thankfully, Mr. NYC wasn’t far behind, and soon we were deep in conversation and apologizing to the waiter that we hadn’t looked at the menu yet.
Author’s note: I absolutely had already looked at the menu prior to arriving to the restaurant. What I was unprepared for, however, was the added information of ‘it’s currently Happy Hour.’ This new variable sent all decisiveness out the window, because now it was a question of ‘Do I order what I want to order or do I order the cheaper drink because that’s the respectful thing to do [assuming he is paying for the drinks] [[which he better be paying for the drinks because I had to get on a plane for this date]]. Ultimately, I decided on the Happy Hour menu - a classic daiquiri, if you must know. Do I ever order daiquiris? No, no I do not. We also got a plate of fried oysters and I’ve now decided that fried oysters are a crime against oysters. Fresh or nothing.
I’m sure the setting and the alcohol played a partial role in this next statement, but I was genuinely having a good first date. I can’t say that I felt the most perfect connection ever, but I knew that I wanted to see this man again before the weekend was over. When it came time for the end of the date, I mentioned that my flight home on Sunday wasn’t until later in the afternoon. What he said next won’t seem all that revolutionary to anyone not currently in the dating scene, but those of you in the trenches with me, you’ll never believe it. In response to my comment about Sunday, he said,
“When I found out you were coming to New York, I went ahead and made a reservation at my favorite brunch restaurant in Manhattan, just in case. If you’re interested, we have noon reservations at Clinton St. Baking Co.”
Could it be? A man with a plan? No hesitation, no disdain for commitment, just a date. Oh, and he did pick up the check.
Afterwards, he walked me back to my friend’s apartment building (again, don’t worry, I’ve seen Taken, I didn’t give away the apartment number) and he may or may not have kissed me on the steps before heading toward his train back to the city.
Cheeks flushed (from the cold or the kiss, the world will never know), I made my way back to the apartment, where a charcuterie board, holiday-themed margaritas, and my friends waited, the perfect setting for a post-date debrief. I honesty have never appreciated being a woman more than that night. A date followed by an entire evening of chit-chat, the kind of bubbly drinks that lift your cheekbones and soften your shoulders, the Sabrina Carpenter Christmas special, and matching slippers? Incredible.
The next morning, we enjoyed a slow start. Normally, I’m a ‘get up and get after it’ type of person on vacation (and on normal days, if I’m being honest). I want to see as much as I possibly can while I’m in a cool, new location. However, I was fully living for the slower pace this time. One, we were just a tad hungover and two, it was COLD outside. We wanted to give the sun a few hours to work its magic. We turned on Hallmark Christmas movies, ordered lattes, and lounged in our pajamas and the matching slippers. I swear that first sip of the latte brought life directly to my soul.
Author’s note: I live by a lot of rules and I tend to break them on vacation (that’s another story). One of those rules is no coffee on an empty stomach, but whatever, we all know that our bodies function differently on vacation, right?
With 120mg of caffeine coursing through my veins, I gathered the will to shower and get ready for our city adventure. Post-shower and wrapped up in another one of my cozy blue sweaters, I was revitalized and ready to walk a half marathon through a city I had only seen on screens. Our plan was to take the Subway from Jersey up to the north side of Central Park. That way we could walk our way back south through Manhattan.
Some of you might be thinking, “you’re excited about a park? Really?” Yes, yes I was. This is the part of vacations where I thrive. I love to walk, to mosey about. And you’re telling me I get to just take a stroll through Central Park? I couldn’t wait to say “ooh look at that tree” and “that’s a nice bridge” and “oh hey I recognize that fountain.” My romantic heart was ready.
The next several hours were filled with fountains, deli sandwiches, window shopping, and gigantic Christmas trees. We really put the tourist in tourist.
At this point, we had been on the move for a couple of hours and needed a change of pace. We slipped down to the subway took a brief rest as we headed toward the village. We needed to make sure our energy was up for this next part, we had two very specific ‘landmarks’ to see in the village. Once we hopped off the subway, I was pleasantly surprised by how residential the village felt. One of the main streets through the village was lively, but it wasn’t crowded like the location from which we just came. We even found a few cute little boutiques to stop in along the way. I was so wrapped up admiring the surrounding stores that I didn’t realize we had finally stepped onto Cornelia Street. Obviously, we had to see Taylor Swift’s former residence. I’m pretty sure my status as a Kansas City resident would have been revoked otherwise. I honestly can’t believe how such a normal looking street could have been home to the most famous person on the planet. That’s just New York, I guess?
Next, it was time to move to ‘landmark’ number two - the Friends apartment.
I grew up watching Friends and have seen the entire series more times than I care to admit. Even though the building was just for exterior shots and wasn’t the actual set, it was a still surreal seeing a piece of fiction in real life.
The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur as we rushed back to my friend’s apartment to get ready for dinner. We had reservations at this AMAZING Chinese restaurant. We ordered dishes family style so we could all try a number of things. The star was the half duck they carved at the table for us. We ate, we laughed, we drank, all the usual stuff. It was wonderful to know that all of the good times we had in Sardinia were based on genuine connection and not just a byproduct of the trip we booked. I’m sure that had some impact on our connection, but the fact that we were able to have just as much fun on a random Saturday night back in the states was really reassuring.
After dinner, the moon was still bright, so we walked our way over to a cocktail bar. We somehow were the first ones in the door (it was 9:30?!?). (In our defense, they were opening a little late due to an event, so we just happened to get there when they were opening and it QUICKLY filled up). We snagged one of the few tables in the place and that’s where we stayed for the rest of the night. The conversations grew louder and more random as the night drew on, a sign of an excellent time.
Fade to Sunday morning, you could say I was a bit nervous. I was suddenly very aware that my plans for the day were a) a date and b) flying home. I simultaneously had so much time and none at all. Thankfully, I had my friends reminding me to calm down (kindly) and the frigid temperature to snap me out of my emotions. I packed up my (blue) suitcase and put on yet another (blue) sweater and hugged my friends goodbye before heading to the train station. That’s one thing that everyone always forgets about when you travel - you have luggage. If you don’t go directly from lodging to the airport, that means your luggage is glued to your side unless you find a place to store it. It’s very unromantic. Unless, however, your date is kind enough to carry it for you. That makes it cute.
Luggage aside, Mr. NYC met me at the subway stop rather than having me walk by myself through Manhattan. Brunch was the perfect combo of savory and sweet. I ordered the classic fare and he ordered pancakes. Post brunch, he showed me around some of his favorite spots in the neighborhood and pointed out different galleries or restaurants he loves. I love learning about what brings other people joy! We wandered about until it was time for me to go to the airport and he called the Uber for me (!!!) I know that I had to fly all the way to New York, so that seems fair, but it was still a very nice thought that I wasn’t at all expecting.
I didn’t truly have time to process the weekend until I was sitting at the airport bar, awaiting my flight. Ultimately, I wouldn’t change anything about the weekend, but my heart was in such conflict.
I know what you’re probably thinking. Girl this sounds amazing! What could possibly be confusing?? Well, after our date, I just didn’t feel the spark. He was a great guy, but I just knew in my heart that he wasn’t the one. I tried to argue with myself, that I just needed to give myself some time, that real life relationships aren’t instantaneous and relationships take some investment. But I also believe in trusting my intuition. Two people can look good on paper, but not be compatible in real life.
On Monday, my phone was silent. I spent the whole day reflecting on what I wanted to say to him. On Tuesday, though, I didn’t have to choose because he texted me first. As it turns out, he also didn’t feel the connection was strong enough to pursue further. I felt a huge wave of relief (mixed with a touch of sadness). For a brief moment, I was bummed that I was, yet again, starting from square one. But then, that moment ended and I felt a very new feeling and perspective.
One, it was more evidence that listening to my gut is a good thing. Just because something sounds like a Hallmark movie, doesn’t mean that it’s the right, best, or only choice. Two, we were on the same page and we didn’t need to agonize over making a long distance relationship work. Three, this entire experience taught me that dating really can be fun, even if it doesn’t end in a relationship. Sometimes a movie style weekend is just that, a weekend. A memory I can hold on to and motivation to get out of my comfort zone more often.
This entire experience walks the line of cliché, so I might as well keep it going for the conclusion.
That weekend really made me feel like I was truly living. I was present and happy and finally doing what the younger version of myself hoped I would get to do as an adult. The goal now is to figure out how to build more experiences like this into my ‘normal’ life. I want to build deeper connections and continue crafting a story I am excited to live.